the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
