That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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