We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
