whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
