she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
