he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
