i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
