Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
