Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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