so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
