I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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