Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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