i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
