My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
