She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
