piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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