so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
