NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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