Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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