I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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