i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
