who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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