you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
