i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And then my night got REAL pukey
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
