"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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