Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
