Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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