can u get pink eye on your cock?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
