Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
