i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
