i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
