my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
