Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
