pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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