How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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