Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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