Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
