hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
