It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
