How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
