she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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