Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ruined the universe
Randomize
