I'm jealous of your bromance
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
