Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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