Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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