Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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