11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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