3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
