I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I cannot find my penis.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
