real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
